Saturday, June 13, 2009

Shia Labeouf the new Emo kid in town?

Just weeks before his big ticket item of the year hits theaters, Labeouf has decided to have what amounts to a nervous breakdown for the aptly named "Parade Magazine" to cover. Perhaps that's a little harsh, as one could also consider it an awakening of sorts, but for a guy who has been thrust seemingly unabashedly into the hollywood lights, he doesn't seem to be taking it too well.

At one point Mr. Labeouf tells us that money is the reason he became an actor, and he doesn't care for it too well. While money can't buy you happiness, I'm sure there are a lot of actors/actresses out there who would die to be in his position and really don't care to hear him complain about it.

"Waaah, I'm rich and famous, man my life sucks".

However it might sound, it would seem the message he's trying to convey isn't so much that he isn't appreciative or that he doesn't think he's talented (lord knows we here are Cinemafangeeque wouldn't be the first to suggest something like that), but that as a child actor he was literally thrust into a place he wasn't even sure he wanted to be. The life of a child actor is never as glamorous as it might seem, and often times much more troubling than one might expect. He stuck with the talents he at least acts believeably enough like he wasn't sure he wanted to spend a lifetime using, and it got him somewhere big -- but what's the point of it all, he says? it could be gone tomorrow! if it was, he'd be happy! It sucks to be living everyone else's dreams!

It is easy to accept that perhaps he is just one of the few people who has little interest in doing for a living what many people only dream of, even that he holds many bad memories of it from his childhood. It's also just as easy to accept that the loss of his girlfriend and possibly a really bad hangover set him up for an emotional breakdown in front of one of the luckiest journalists of all time. Believe whichever story you want, but the truth of the matter is that he's still a sub-par actor who must have god for an agent to be getting put into some of the biggest films in hollywood today.

Mr. Labeouf, if you're sick of the hollywood lights, nobody is stopping you from coming back to reality, and I seriously doubt that many would truly miss you. It's simple -- if money means nothing, turn down all the offers, quit your day job, and go work at 7-11. If your roots are truly as "poor" as you say, you should know how to easily and comfortably live off of all the money you have for the rest of your life. Hell, if you wanted to, you wouldn't even need to get a job.

You've got it made.

Nobody is stopping you from doing what you want but yourself.

....Just don't expect sympathy from anyone whose sympathy is worth a damn.

If you should decide that maybe your gig is a little too hard to give up, here's some solid advice:

Consider playing a vampire in the next Twilight movie. I'm sure your attitude in life would make you the perfect fit for the role.
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